October 7 2015

“I AM HIS MOTHER” Pg.9

love mom

My Son, left that night. I do not know where he had gone. Maybe back to his apartment.

My Husband & I, were sitting at the table staring at each other. Both crying and nervous at the same time.

All of the money we had saved. There was very little left. We were not sure what was going to happen with the move. By this time the house was all packed and we were leaving in about two weeks.

Where is the money going to come from? So we could have,

                     ” Our New Life”!

When and how, was Our Son going to recover from this, Sickness!

We had gotten to the point of  “Total Exhaustion,”

All the emotions of a “Parents Defeat,” had crept up on us. We had to move. We could not stay here! And Our Son, has to survive while we were going through this. We said prayer’s.

                               “We left Our Son to G-d!

My Husband was still working for the company. He had about a year and a half of employment left.

The next day he left for work. I started hunting in a box for a folder, Life Insurance Policies. When I came across my name. I pulled out the file. I contacted them and inquired about one of the policies. After speaking to them, I decided the best thing to do was to cash one in. They took care of all the paper work.

I received a check. I was relieved!

I ran out to the hardware store and I purchased pad locks. When I came, home I proceeded to start putting them on every door inside the house.  It was a little to late for this but, we did still had some things of value. I planned to put those things, in the car. For the day we were leaving.

One afternoon I remember, My Son Came over, he charged into the house. Stating, “I am here to get the rest of my things.” As he walked down the hallway where the bedrooms were, he said, “Wow, Mom this looks like “Fort Knox.” I smiled, from the other room and thought to myself, I should have done this a long time ago!

The news was on the TV, I heard that we were to expect a very bad storm. So of course, I ran out to do some food shopping. We were leaving in two days. The moving truck was coming to pick up all the boxes and furniture.

I woke up early, the truck was supposed to be here at 8:00. I got dressed and made a cup of tea. I began to check the closets. On the top shelf I found a paper that was folded and I opened it. I made my way back to the kitchen with tears running down my face. I found a little note from My Son.

He must have been six, when he wrote it. If I could  just go back in time. What would I have altered?

I don’t even know, what I could have possibly have changed? When you think, as a parent that you are always doing the right thing. For your “Children.” Then someone comes along and robs them of  their health, well being and innocence. You are left powerless. My Son, was so young. He told me, “Mom, I did not know what I wanted. My Sisters and Brother, all had their minds made up. Busy doing their thing. “I was still trying to figure it out.” By the time we had sent him to college he was on, ” Pain Pills”.

When those became to expensive he turned to, “HEROIN”!

The truck pulled up, they started packing it up. Wrapping mirrors and the TV’s. There were so many people that it was done very fast. When they left, I looked around and a flood of memories came back to me. We had been here for over twenty years! Wow, how quickly the time flew by.

The weather was kicking up, lots of wind and it started to rain. All of our clothes were, now packed in suit cases.

I remembered that on the news they had named the storm “Hurricane Sandy.’

We left Long Island, NY, about four in the morning. The Hurricane was over.  I remember it was very cold. When we were on the parkway it started to snow. We were laughing.

All we could think of was, “Florida” here we come!

Pulling up to our new residence was a great feeling.

This was a new adventure for us. The truck came the next morning. Everything was unloaded. Boxes in every room.

My husband could only stay for a short time. We unpacked. It was like we were “Newly Wed’s,”  again.

I drove him to the airport and I could not kiss him enough as we said, “goodbye.”

I was now alone, I had never really been on my own before.