September 29 2015

I Am His Mother Pg. 5

praying momI got to work a little early, I needed to prepare for my class. I was called to the front desk. Standing there was a Mother that I had recognized. Jim was her son, one of My Son’s friends.

She asked if there was a place that we could talk. I took her to the back classroom, hallway. She began, ” Well I do not know how to say this but, your Son and Tim are Drug Dealers, They have been getting high along with, My Son Jim, they sell him the stuff and now they are all using!” I stood there, unable to speak ….the tears just welled up in my eyes. I told her I did not know anything about this. I just tried to let her know that I will speak to My Son. She stormed out of the school!

I had to leave work. I was feeling nauseous and I had no control over the tears. I got to the car, inside I started to pray for guidance.

“Dear Lord, Open My Eyes To See What I Have Been Denying for So Long!”

I called my Husband on the cell phone, “You have to find, Our Son and make him come home, we have to talk to him there is a real problem”! When I got to the house, I walked in to find, My Son sitting at the table and My Husband standing with his arms folded.

I said, “ So, Now you are selling drug’s to your friends, and all of you are using Drugs! Jim’s Mother came to my job and told me that you and Tim are Drug Dealers, that you SELL Drugs to him and then you all, get Hi”!

I recall the way he looked, his face was pale.

He was very thin. He sat there with his eyes staring at us. His eyes were Dark. “I looked into his eyes, I said, So you are a Drug Dealer! And you take drugs, WHY“! (SREAMING)

He began to shake his head, “No, I am Not A Drug Dealer. I do not take DRUGS!” He was very flip, calm not scared. Just sat there spinning his cell phone around and around. Not Looking up at me.

“The lying and incredible deceit that this now, Person?, Man……

I cannot even describe the feelings that were in my heart. I wanted to beat the “SH_T” out of him! I never hit this child nor did, his Dad!

He became unrecognizable to me. Believe me when I tell you, I was looking at him …… but I no longer was seeing my child, I was seeing a Man that had went against everything I had ever believed in, every thing I ever taught him. His father was devastated!

I was crushed, humiliated, exhausted, embarrassed. I felt like someone hit me in the head with a bat. He made me feel that, he had no care or reason.

My Husband & I sat, there with him for what must have been hours. Trying to make sense of the things that he would answer to, and things that he would not. He just kept on saying, No Mom, No Dad.

As he denied these accusations, my head was swimming with thoughts that I never would want to dream of!

He made friends with a local pawn shop. So many of the things, I had treasured gone. My Son, had a party at our house a few weeks before this night. Unknown to us, there were many people at the house. We had taken a weekend and went away. When we returned and I was putting things away, I noticed my Wedding Band and a Necklace, that my Grandmother, had given to me was gone!

“I told My Son, he said, He would hire a Private Detective, to find the lost jewelry!!!!” I was so upset. We did not know he had a party?

“Did I think that he would steal my jewelry and hock it“?

His friends were all in his room, when I went in they were all playing video games. “I asked them to stop, I looked at them and I said,” All of you have been coming here since you were eight years old. (Now they were Eighteen & Nineteen) I have watched you all grow up. I looked after you and fed you when you were hungry! I have had all of your “Backs”! My Jewelry is gone and none of you, including him know where it is!” They all had the same face……… A Blank Stare, Not one of them said a word! They had No Emotion!

Money was always missing from my purse. And My Husbands wallet.

But, when I realized what was happening and what he had been doing,

All of those, “THINGS”!   Did not mean anything to me. I just wanted MY Son,  to be the healthy, vibrant & the loving person that he once was.

The very next day, I called a Rehabilitation Center in Florida. I had done my homework and tried to find the best one.

They were so kind and they gave me so much information. I wanted My Son, on the very next flight out. They asked for information about him. They asked me questions that I did not know the answer to. They assured me everything will be fine, if you can get him here!

That night I had prepared for an intervention……….