September 21 2015

I AM HIS MOTHER Pg. 3

Copy of tall demon

No notoriety for  “Drug Pusher’s,”  I name them what they are…… “GHOSTS”!

I believe that our children are not addicts….. To me that is an evil word. Our children were deceived by individuals. Who take advantage of people who are unknowingly going to put themselves into a situation that can eventually cause DEATH!

  My Son was sick. With a substance that made him, no longer care for the person that he was. As, he kept on using,  no longer did I see the boy that he was. I saw MY SON, trying desperately to be himself, and not getting a grip on the changes that were taking place in his body. Like a Dr. Jeckyl & Mr. Hyde, scenario. This was a slow process. I did no know right away. I realized when, He no longer was eating. He wore dirty clothes. The lies became bigger. His face was gaunt. His eyes were sunk in. There was no conversation. The begging and pleading of His Mother, asking the questions. “What is going on with you”? …….. Are You on Drugs?……….. Are You having a Problem…………………….. on and on! “NO MOM”!        Was his answer.

The ” Ghosts”should be, Arrested for these crime they have committed. Then forced to go through the same horror, that our Children have gone through. Laws have to be changed. Our Town Officials need to make it a priority to let us know if there is a “Ghost” in our neighborhoods, It is time to clean up! When it is Known to them that there is a “GHOST”! At our schools, shopping centers, walking our streets, they have to give us a warning. Announce it on all the radio stations and the television! Giving parents a, “heads up”. Giving us the right to clean up our neighborhoods to make it really, “Uncomfortable for the “GHOSTS”, to come into our neighborhoods”!

“Our children made the wrong choices!”

How do we protect our children. “Well, I have to tell you. The hard fact is this. You better keep your eyes and ears open because when they leave the house, “DO You, know where they are and what they are doing?” These people that are, “Our children” are labeled addicts!. I did not bring my son up to be an addict!           

 MY SON made a very bad decision!

“Along, with all of your children!”

I want to meet the “GHOSTS”, that are pushing this stuff on our kids. There is a need for more talk at our schools to inform our children of the dangers. They should watching videos, in an auditorium, sitting side by side. showing them the effects of every drug that is being sold on the streets. This will open up communication and understanding. This one thing, would give our children the total understanding of what the drug actually can do to you! We as parents have to inform our children of the dangers first. I also feel that each community needs to set up a “Watch Group” to see if anyone coming into the community is a criminal selling the stuff. As, we progress as a society. Parents are forced to work long hours, children are left to care for each other or themselves. What are they doing and what are the consequences for their actions. The children of today need to be informed and we are the one’s that have to inform them. Let’s give our children,” TOOLS”, so that when they are faced with this decision. They will know what to do.

If I could turn back time there are many things I would have changed.

I tried so hard to keep my son out of harms way. But when I found out that he was taking drugs. That he was addicted to Heroin. I searched for the person I thought was giving it to him. Could you imagine I got in my car and drove all over the community, looking, and hoping to find this person!

After High School, we had taken Our Son to a college upstate. He was enrolled. We had such high expectations, for him. This was the first time he had ever been away from home. He made it clear that he wanted to go. The college, was very expensive. We signed all the necessary papers. Before I knew it I was buying all the things he would need for his dorm room. Clothes and shoes, and everything else so he would be comfortable when he was there. The day we brought him up there he seemed to be excited. We went to all the fairs and such, to become familiar with what the campus had to offer. Got him settled. And, Kissed him Good-Bye. All the way home I cried. Happy Tears!

Our other children had gone to college and it was great for them.

We just new it would be the same for our youngest child. The first week he was there seemed to be a bumpy road for him. I remember him having to go way up on a high mountain at the school to get “Cell Phone” reception. That day he claimed he missed us so much, could he come home for the weekend. He did not have a car. He managed to get home first by train and then by Ferry! We picked him up at the Dock, that the boat came in on.

He stayed the weekend and partied with his friends from High School. I saw his red eyes. I smelled beer.

“Is that when he started to experiment with drugs“?

He went back to school. Calling every day to come home. “I do not want to be here. Please Mom I want to come home”. There was plenty of talking. To me and his Father. We just looked at each other. We were so disappointed.

I wanted him to go to a school, far a way from everything and everyone in our town. I thought that going away to school would be so great for him. He came home and, Thirty Five Thousand Dollars later, for a school he attended for three month, went down the drain. They are still trying to collect their money!

My Son, began to work at a restaurant and driving my car. We shared the car. I would teach class at night at a private school. He used the car during the day. “You have to go to school.  You need to make something out of yourself. Learn a trade. Get a degree. I talked, and talked. He nodded, and agree with anything I would say.”

He is still with his friends from High School, understandably as they were all together since Grade School. Best buddies, there was about five of them. Including My Son. Well, they were not playing Football any more, they mainly were all in his room playing video games.

I used to clean his room. It was gross, always a mess. The dirty laundry was all over the place. It was summer time then. We had a pool in the back yard. He would have, wet towels and clothes laying in piles, amongst dirty dishes and half filled glasses. Ash trays filled with cigarette buts.

One day while I was picking up the laundry, I came across a “Pipe”!