November 3 2015
“I AM HIS MOTHER” Pg.23
I was inexperienced at knowing how to handle this situation. Nothing in my life had prepared me for this undertaking. I do not think anyone is prepared for this. This was not taught in the school that I had gone to.
I was a mother who took care of her children. Nurtured them and did everything I could to keep them safe. I had learned from the best, MY Own Mother. I grew up in the seventies. “Sex, Drugs & Rock’in Roll!” That was what the slogan had been. A lot of my friends experimented. I never had the need or want to do that. But, somehow whoever, I had known never did anything hard core. Sure there was alcohol, but no one ever crossed the line. I wonder why the kids of today are so open to experimentation?
We are the Parents of these kids. What doors did we open within our households that encouraged them to even think of trying a Drug?
As I grew older and had my children, there were family members that did smoke marijuana. But, I never thought that, this was a bad thing. Did I try it? “Yes,” I enjoyed it once in a while. It was something that put me out of touch. I felt, I had to be their for my, Kids and My Husband.
My responsibility took precedence over getting, “High.”
When I was sick and in excruciating pain, for seven years. The doctor had me on a lot of pain medication. I thank G-d. It was not addictive. I could never take anything with codeine in it, because it made me nauseous. There were days that were, worse than others and I would smoke, some of a joint to try and relieve the pain. So I totally understand why this is something that people want to legalize. If this “Drug”, helps people with Pain, than it certainly should be used.
When questioning, My Son on the subject. He said, “The Pills he was taking became to expensive and that is why he turned to “Heroin” because it was cheaper!” Why are pill’s so expensive? There does not seem to be a shortage in this country for, whatever is used to make these pills.
My personal life has changed so drastically. This underworld that I never thought would enter my life. My Children’s lives. It know longer surprises me because there, are so many of you that are going through this situation.
I have been doing so much research on, “Drug Abuse,” it is a real tragedy.
I have read so many horror stories of how, Mother’s are trying to cope. I know how they feel. Every emotion comes to the service leaving you numb.
Please allow me to give you some advice…..
Through out your life, I am sure this experience has shook you to the core of your soul! You are in disbelief!
I hope you are not an enabler.
A Mother that cannot and will not believe that, their child would even try “Drugs”!
That Mother Was ME!
The enabling Mother gives love, but she also gives money when they need it. A home, food on the table and anything else that, they require.
Because that is what you have always done for them.
You are trapped! You must comprehend, The Child that looks like Your Son or Daughter.
Is regretfully “No Longer That Person.”
I am so sorry to say that.
But the sooner you come to grips with that, you will find it much easier to protect the other, Children in the home. Do not forget that this gong to effect them also! Do not put all your attention on, the Child that is sick. Be honest with your Children. They might want to experiment also. Children are very smart, when you are in pain they feel it. They also need their Mother, more than ever before. Because they are afraid. Ease there tension with communication it will make them feel better. Giving them some kind of way to cope. Also, you do not know what they are dealing with in school. May be their friends know and they are being bullied or worse. Ask them questions. Always try to be supportive for them. They need you!
Think in these terms. Your Child that has taken “Drugs Is Sick!” The Drugs has altered them. The Child is “No Longer the Same.” Also, it is not just your Child. Look at their friends, all the Kid’s that, they hang out with. I am sure they are doing it to! Don’t be surprised if their friends, Parents are going through the very same thing that you are. All of you can work together, on getting them into Rehab sooner.
My Son’s friends ended up in the same Rehab Facility that he was in. I was very surprised to see them there.
And Very happy!
Do not be ashamed if you want to call them to find out.
The more information you can get from anyone that, is with your Child, can Save Their Lives. We do not have the ability to save them from this mistake, they have so carelessly made. But we can keep a watchful eye and protect our family while doing so. If you start communicating with their, friends Parents. You are going to have some leverage because all of you can help one and other out.
Is this an outrage? “Most definitely”! Knowing this, you need to muster up the strength to get Tough.
You are in for the Fight of your Life and Your Son or Daughter‘s life.
Make sure you lock up everything that is precious to you. Hide your Jewelry, Because it will not be there when you want to wear it. I know your jaw is dropping, I am still looking for pieces that are GONE!
Also, Find Your Strength. Reach in to yourself and get mad! If you don’t do this you will be eaten up by the “DEMON” that has taken your Child! You see the Demon destroys everything and everyone in it’s path. I am sure it is laughing while he is at play!! Put Locks on any door or draw, that you do not want, Your Child to open. They now have the instinct on how to get into everything without you even knowing it. Tell your Husband to lock up his stuff also. The “Pawn Shop”, is their new found friend. Because they know just how to manipulate you. They know you, how to get around you. How to win you over with there smile.
Be Strong! Say, ”NO”!
Fear is what over takes you. When you cannot take it any longer the chances that you will tell them.
“They have to go!”
When this problem arose with My Son, I threw him out. He was being belligerent. I was afraid of him.
I had no control over him.
I hoped that this would make him ask for help! But it did not. He packed a few things and left the house very angry. After a few days, I thought he would return. But, he wound up staying with a kid that was selling his Mother’s pain medication.
My Son, was at the stage of his illness, where he could not be without the “Drugs.”
And he knew, that I was over and done with giving!
When you reach the point where you say “Enough is Enough”! It breaks you. You are at your wits end. Be careful, you will need your strength for what is to come. Don’t fall apart. You are at the beginning and there is a lot that has to be done. Start calling Rehab Facilities. Speak to someone about having your child admitted. Ask question, they are the experts. They are able and so willing to help you. They know what you are going through. It helps when the Child has Insurance. Some facilities will pay for their flight to their Centers.
Remember your Child has to,
”Want to get the help they so desperately need, they have to admit that, they have a problem”.
While My Son was in Rehab, I went to N.Y. for a visit. I stayed at My Older Daughter’s house. The kid’s came to diner one night. My Children were very reluctant to speak about their brother. When they were all together before this happened. They were a group that had their, own secret society. We, My Husband and I only knew what they wanted us to know.
Why is it that you would even think, one of them would tell you? If there was a problem with one of them.
Do not expect that to happen.
My Children did not bring up their Brother, in any discussion, I felt that they just could not talk about it. I had no clue as to what he, had done to them. I wanted to know. So, I began telling them details of what he has been going through in the Rehab Center. They all looked at me like, “Ok it is great he, finally is in Rehab Mom, but you, do not know what he did to us?” My Youngest Son Betrayed them. I guess they did not want me to know of the miss deeds that their Brother did. I respected that and left the subject alone.
It was too hard for them to tell me. Then I asked them, ”Have any of you ever used any “Drugs?”
They answered very honestly. They all had experimented with some. But they all agreed that, they did not take “Heroin”.
I said why did you stop? They all said, that it was because they
Dear Mother’s I know that is the hardest thing in your life, that you and your family has ever had to deal with.
“Tuff Love, when you love someone so much. You have a lot of work to do”.
Please know that your Child, has to HIT BOTTOM!
When they come back crying, or calling you. That they have no place to live or no food. Tell them how much you Love them. Tell them they need help. That you are there to offer that and nothing else. Because you know that,” they are strong enough to fight this terrible disease”. Mention something good, about the days that they were free from Drugs. A happy occasion that your, whole family had together.
Some where in their distorted mind. They will remember your words.
“I love You My Precious Child”