October 16 2015

“I AM HIS MOTHER” Pg.15

good & Evil

I wanted so much for him, to be alright. I made every effort as his Mother, with every ounce of my being, to make My Son go back  into the Rehab Facility. I had to call and let them know, he went back to N.Y. It was so hard to tell the Therapist, that My Son decided to leave. He totally understood what I was going through. He was very concerned, he said “When Your Son, is ready to come back, call me and let me know!”

I thanked him for everything. I sat there hoping that, the day would come quickly.

I feel that they, should never go back to where they came from. It was so easy for him to find the, “DEMONS.”  He contacted someone while he was in the airport. They met him, as he was getting his baggage.

Everything seemed so quiet. I would speak with my children and my, Husband frequently. Seeing them on Skype, made it much easier for me. To be so far away from them. It was Thanksgiving and My Older Daughter, was making the feast at her home. She invited everyone. Later that afternoon, I was able to speak with all of them. My Son, flashed in front of the screen. His eyes were like black coal. His skin returned to Gray.

“Hi Mom, Happy Thanksgiving I miss you!” As he slurred his words.

My Husband then appeared, “I have a surprise for you Honey, I will be with you for Christmas.” My eyes welled up, I started to cry. “Oh that’s so great, I Said.” Now all the Kids were on the screen telling me, how much they Loved Me!

I was making kiss faces at them.

The days dragged on, waiting for him to come. It seemed to me that, time was standing still. I was getting the house ready for, the day to arrive. I had my hair done. A manicure and a pedicure. Also, I bought a new outfit. It had been a couple of months since his last visit.

“Inside I felt like a washed out, rung out Rag Doll. But, I tried to put on a good act!”

The day arrived, I drove to the airport all dressed up! I felt so good, I knew that when I saw him. All the pain in my heart, that I have been carrying around. In an instant, all of it would vanish. Replaced by the love, I had always felt for this man. He is my rock. I waited patiently. Watching all the people coming through, the terminal. There he was, coming towards me. He grabbed me and hugged me.

I was free from all the hurt. Comforted that, I was alone no longer!

We drove back to the condo. Laughing and crying at the same time.

He talked about the children. How nice Thanksgiving was, but how everyone missed me.

They all sent me their love.

His voice now filled the air with conversation, where there, was so much silence just an hour before. I was grateful that he had come. I put a tree up in the living room and had Christmas music playing. So when he entered the house he was surprised. I cooked some kind of, “Taco Surprise,” for diner. We had a glass of wine and relaxed.

The days that followed were great. He was becoming familiar with, traveling around the town, we were now living in. The weather is always hot in Florida. But the stores had signs of the coming holiday all around.

I was working and so happy to come home.

He felt very much like he was on vacation. But I new, that would be short lived.When he would be here permanently, and have to start searching for a job.

My Husband was up early, I woke up at about 10:00 am. He was talking loudly when I entered the kitchen. He was standing at the sink with his head in his hand. Speaking very intently,” Listen to me Son, I want you to leave the house, call your Aunt to pick you up. When you get to her house, call me back.” As soon as he hung up the phone. He began to tell me that, “Our Son, had been in an altercation with some people, that came to the house. He will call back as soon as he gets, to my Sisters house.”

“Was he hurt? “ He replied, No!”

My Son called, he was safe at My Husbands, Sisters house.

“Dad Please,

Please get me back to the Rehab Facility, I want to go! I am ready to go!”

After that call, we arranged for him to come back to us. I called the Rehab Facility and spoke with My Son’s, Therapist. I told him he will be back tomorrow. He said, ”That is not problem.

“When he arrives have him call me directly!”

If the ‘Addicted, wants to go back into Rehab, they must call. They must show that they are willing to return!

Something happened that day, I guess I will never know what it was.

But it broke him.

It scared him.

“Scared him enough to say, I have had enough!”

  And that he was ready for the challenge ahead of him.

This was the most courageous decision that,

My Son had made since, he was eighteen years old!