October 15 2015

“I AM HIS MOTHER” Pg.14

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My Son’s plane landed in Long Island on time. Unfortunately he was picked up by his friend, who just happened to have some Heroin.  My Son, who had just finished “DETOXING”, used it. He wrapped his arm up with a rubber hose. Took a needle and injected it into his vein!

As the, “Demon” entered his body. Once more there was no turning back.

Not for him!

He had found a job. Started working and as time had gone by the need for, “Heroin” grew . But he was slacking and taking time off. He was not able to cope. Trying so hard to be normal. But not accomplishing the task.

They fired him!

Behavioral signs of heroin abuse and addiction include:

Lying or other deceptive behavior

Avoiding eye contact, or distant field of vision

Substantial increases in time spent sleeping

Increase in slurred, garbled or incoherent speech

Sudden worsening of performance in school or work, including expulsion or loss of jobs

Decreasing attention to hygiene and physical appearance

Loss of motivation and apathy toward future goals

Withdrawal from friends and family, instead spending time with new friends with no natural tie

Lack of interest in hobbies and favorite activities

Repeatedly stealing or borrowing money from loved ones, or unexplained absence of valuables

Hostile behaviors toward loved ones, including blaming them for withdrawal or broken commitments

Regular comments indicating a decline in self esteem or worsening body image

Wearing long pants or long sleeves to hide needle marks, even in very warm weather

 Users build tolerance to heroin, leading to increases in the frequency and quantity of heroin consumption. With growing tolerance, more definitive physical symptoms of heroin abuse and addiction emerge:

Weight loss

Runny nose (not explained by other illness or medical condition)

Needle track marks visible on arms

Infections or abscesses at injection site

For women, loss of menstrual cycle (amenorrhea)

Cuts, bruises or scabs from skin picking

 © 2015 Timberline Knolls, all rights reserved

He did things that were against the law. He was not responsive to any of the, loving suggestions that his Father or I, would give him. We were fighting a losing battle. His big brother, who was such a big influence in, My Son’s life. Could no longer speak to him because it hurt him too much. Our older Daughter, was so worried about him, she tried to stay away from him. And then there was, my middle Daughter. They were so close growing up. There is seven years between them. She could not even look at him, for what he had become.

His life was so out of control. My Husband was still working. Half of the things, that were going on, in our house. Were all done before he got home from work. So he never new that, our house during the day. Was a “DRUG DEN” where all the “DEMONS” would come, hang out and get their fixes.

My Husband worked so hard, to make a good home for me and his children. It was a home always full of love and caring. Family would come and celebrate every holiday. Or just get together, to be together.

That is how, our families were.

As, the older children married, and moved into their own houses. Living their own lives.

We had to make decisions for our selves, hoping that this Boy. Would be able to care of himself, at the age of twenty five. But, heartbreaking as it is for me.

I Thank G-d that he is ALIVE!

Some month’s have passed, he was reeking havoc, every chance he got. The need to feed the “DEMON”, Who was no longer the child I had known as, My Son.

His  needs got very expensive. He paid a High Price. Both emotionally and physically

Nothing would stop the craving.

My Husband, was finally able to come and see me. I missed him so much. Living alone was so hard to bare. Hearing the stories of what this boy had been doing. I felt that he was lost. Knowing the only cure was, to get him back into Rehab.

But how?

“It was so hard for me to go to work. Teaching people that were about the same age as him. They were at the start of their careers. All having, the hunger for a good life. A life full of  promise. I always wondered, he had so much. We thought we were doing the right things. Why, did this happen to him? I then would come home and cry myself to sleep. To alleviate, the pain that I was going through.  Just to have the strength to wake up, and speak to my Husband. To hear all of the pain that he was in. Because of the terrible things, Our SON had been doing. To see My Husband, CRY!  Made the shame of what was happening to Us and Our Son, much more horrible. 

As parents, where do you draw the line? When can you say enough is enough?

I believe we have a faith in G-d, that is so strong.

My Son, truly has an “ANGEL”, that is looking out for him!