“I AM HIS MOTHER” Pg.13
“God, I cannot control the world or stop all the dangers that threaten my child. My arms too short and my eyes are too limited. The world outside is full of risks, but you, oh God are both good and powerful. I know you love my child even more than I love my child. I ask you to provide the protection I cannot. You promise in the Bible to be a shelter for those who ask for your help. I ask now for you to shelter my child against the dangers around him. I choose to turn my fears into an opportunity for my faith, now.”
“Hanging up on him, I closed my eye’s and tried to comprehend all that he said. When I opened my eyes there it was the, “DEMON” and he was laughing! My mind must have been hallucinating, out of total fear, of what was to come. “Why did he leave the Rehab Center?” He went through the excruciating pain of, “Detox”! Mentally and physically, cold and hot sweats, anxiety, depression.
Sleeplessness and restlessness. He had constant back pain.
His body was releasing all of what the,” DEMON” had drenched, into his thin, fragile body.
My Child was not ready! He still had a long road ahead of him. Even though, he had all of these people in the Rehab Center, that were helping him. People that are so “Brave and Caring.” Educated people who know how to deal with this horrific disease.
My Son, was with friends that he went to High School with. Right here in Florida. In the same Rehab Center, that he was in. He and them were going through this together. I would think that would make them all stronger. Having the ability to share each others problems and triumphs.
My Husband and I were so happy that he was safe and doing the “right thing for himself.” All through, My Son’s addiction, his Brother and his Sister’s, were always communicating with him and giving him encouragement to get better. Every chance they had, they let him know that he was “Missed and Loved!”
I believe that the “DEMON” is so powerful. The victim has so much to bare. The disadvantage came upon, My Son, when he was starting to feel better. He must have felt so good. So self assured, that he figured he could go back to N.Y.
“No Problem, He Said!”
He went to Church and was Baptized. He had therapy. Everything they offered. My Husband and I were so happy that he was safe and felling better.
All we had was, Hope and Prayer!
He said,” I am at CVS, waiting for you, Pease pick me up. What did you do? I replied.”
He said, “Please come get me Mom!”
I got in the car set the GPS. I was now on my way to meet the “DEMON!”
Who looked like the child, that was My Son. I knew, he was not going to let him go that easy.
Pulling into the parking lot of CVS, there he was with, his suitcase in his hand. Getting in the car he asked me, “If he could have some money to get cigarettes and a soda.” As he entered the store he turned and waved to me with a smile on his face. I was sitting in an air conditioned car, sweating! All I could think of was taking him back to the Center.
When he came out and got into the car, I called his Father. “What’s wrong, he said. I replied that he, had left the Rehab Facility. I am sitting at a, CVS with him in the car. He thinks he is alright and wants to come back to N.Y.
“Go Back Into Rehab, his Father said!”
“No Dad, you gotta know that I am O.K. Really. I want to come Home!”
My Husband was so taken aback. I could tell that he was very angry. I had wished, that he was here to help me.
“I could feel that MY Son, was challenging me!”
I told My Husband, that we can talk later. Tears were starting to roll down my face.
“My Son, declared don’t cry Mom. I’m fine!”
It was so intense for me at this point. I drove to the beach, while he smoked and talked about feeling so good. That he was going to go back to school. And yadda, yadda!
He was trying to be so convincing. When we arrived at the beach. We walked, and I was hoping that the sun and air. Would help clear my mind.
Seeing him so happy, I guess he truly believed that, with all he had been through and feeling so good. He had the strength to overcome any adversity, that came his way. We finally found a bench, sat down and I tried, to talk some sense into him. I told him that there is, no one that is without fault. “Everyone makes mistakes. You just have to learn from them and make the best of every situation.” I asked him, How he was feeling, how was his Baptism? We talked about the meeting that, I had attended and all that I had learned. He was so happy that I went. I told him that, I wished he had been there with me. We also talked about all the families that I had seen from N.Y.
I hugged him never realizing all the pain that, he had been through. During his “Detox.” But he never said a word about that.
Here he sat next to me with his beautiful smile, and he just kept reassuring me that he was ok. Every time I mentioned going back to the Rehab Facility, he had an excuse as to why he wanted to go back to N.Y.
As far as, he was concerned he was going no matter what.
I told him how his, Father and I were so lucky that we had him. How much he was loved. And, that we were so grateful that he was alive!
In order for My Son, to go back into the Rehab Center. He had to walk in, on his own, with his free will! “Wanting Help!”
Sadly nothing that I said, made him change his mind. He was on the next Plane back!
But, if I had any knowledge of what he was about to do next….