October 9 2015

“I AM HIS MOTHER” Pg. 11

addicted in the bathroom

The drive home was so long. Getting off of the turnpike there was a Denny’s. I asked him if he was hungry and he said, ”Yes.” I pulled in and we went inside, it was very late. The waitress came, gave us the menus and went to get some soda’s. I said, “You must be starving, get whatever you want!” He must have ordered half the menu.

We started to talk. He told me he was happy to see me. Along with, going into Rehab. I told him that I was proud of him, for finally making the right decision.

The food came, there was not enough room on the table to put all of the plates. I watched, as he took two bites of a burger on a large platter with a mound of fries. He drank the soda in one gulp and asked for another. He was done. The waitress boxed up the rest of the food and we left.

I was just so, fulfilled to look at him. Having him with me now. Was a little daunting. I did not know, “What to expect from him. If he had underlining issues, that would surface. What if he had a temper? “

He was actually fine, holding the conversation and occasionally smiling. I thought how do you know your own child after he has been taking drugs?

When we got to the condo, he looked around and said, “Wow Mom this is really nice.” He brought in his suit case, I had a blow up mattress. I set it up in the living room on the floor. I left a big box of pictures on the, dining room table. He sat down and started to pull them out. The pictures were of all my, Children when they were growing up. He started to laugh. I finally, felt good with him.

I could, No longer keep my eyes open so I said I was going to bed.

He kissed me good night, and held my shoulder’s and said,
“I have to be at the Rehab Center at 1o:00, but I need a few things at the store before I go in. We need to be out early, Mom. I said why,

He replied, “Because I will be going through, Withdrawal’s at that time!”

That statement hit me, “Between the Eyes!”

I did not even know, what that was or what it meant!

When we arrived at the store, My Son stayed in the front out side on a bench. I went into the store and ran around, trying to get everything he needed.

I came outside and he was walking back and forth. “I called to him, O.K. I have what you needed, let’s go!”

When we arrived at the Facility, I kissed him. “You are going to be fine!” Entering through the front door, there was a reception desk.

They asked, “ My Son for his Identification.” They checked him in.

The lady behind the desk asked me if I was his, Mother.

I looked around and their was an entrance way, that My Son had to walk through. There was a very long corridor. It had different rooms or entrances along the sides. There were security guards also. A tall man approached My Son, introduced himself, shook my hand. And told us to say our Good Bye’s. We hugged. I watched tearfully as, My Son, walked down the corridor. As he got further away from me,

“I Prayed for G-d to, Please take Car of Him!”

I left there, light headed. I was crying in the car. It was so hard to collect myself. I think I cried all the way home.

I did not hear from him for a couple of days. Maybe three days. When I finally got a call from him. He said, “I am able to call you, because it is a reward. For doing well, so I can use the phone for a couple of hours.” From the sound in his voice, I could tell that he was relaxed.

He also said,” He was in Therapy and that he was going to Church! I was surprised. My Son, had been to church, only on certain occasions.”

“I Love You Mom, I am Doing Good!”

You see, I am Jewish and My Husband is Catholic.

We would celebrate every Holiday!

From that call, I started to relax and leave it to G-d.

After, a week I was able to come and visit. He met me at the entrance and we got to walk around outside. He seemed so happy. So I was happy. There was a, Parents weekend coming up that he wanted me to attend. He gave me a paper with the date. After, the event, they were having a barbeque. Back at the Facility.

I promised him I would go.

When we were walking he bumped into a tall Guy with blonde hair and he said, “ Mom look who is here….. When I turned around, I realized that it was one of his friends from, High School. I gave him a Hug and I wished him success.”

It was a Saturday, Parents Weekend. I had to go to a Hotel. There were so many people there. I walked into a large room, there was a section of seating on both sides of the room. Coffee and cookies on a large table in the back. As, I was walking to a seat there was a woman. Calling to me “Mrs. R. Mrs. R.” I turned around and there, sat a girl that was friends with My Son. From High School, we hugged.

I thought how many of his friends from, Long Island are here?

It proved to me that My Son, was not alone. There were so many sick kids from that school! From our neighborhood!

I made my way to a seat and sat down. I really did not know what to expect. When the meeting started people of all ages came out. Their presentation was very interesting and educational. They explained Addiction. They actually showed us with diagrams, what happens to a person when they become addicted. I was beginning to understand.

This is an illness, with  terrible consequence’s to a person’s very being.

They showed what happens when a person starts to use drug’s and how the need escalates Over time. Using a Diagram of the brain.

the brains reward system

They finished and explained that we were going to take a break.

They gave me a paper explaining that after the break I was to meet in a certain room. At a specific time. For a discussion I went outside, I was wishing for a, “cool wind to cross my face.” Being that it was ninety degrees outside, I settled for a bottle of cold water!

I made my way to the room, when I entered there was about twenty chairs that were set up in a circle. A woman invited me in and I introduced myself. She was one of the therapists at the Rehab Center.

Other people were coming in doing the same. We all sat and one by one introduced our selves. These people all had their child with them.

I was the exception, because My Son, was getting,

“Baptized, at the beach.”

I was very happy that they were giving My Son, to G-D!

Some of the children, Eighteen and Older, were saying wonderful things about, My Son. I was so happy that they new him.

The therapist wanted each one of the families to share in their experience with the Facility. It was very interesting. When it was my turn, “I said, that I was relieved that My Son, was now in a place. Where there was a good chance that he could recover.”

We then all went back into the larger room and took our seats.

The Director of the facility said, “That, they were going to pick people from the audience to do a, “Play Presentation”! I watched as they called up different people and told them, “You represent the Addicted, You represent His Mother, You represent his Father……….he had the “Addict”, standing on a bench, As people came up he situated them in a circle, very close to one and other, each standing around him. He instructed them to place their hands around each others back. Then, they were to say, “Out Loud, “ how they were related to, The Addicted Person. It was so remarkable. About, thirty people were all around this, “Sick Individual.” I believe he was portraying how, one person’s, mistake with “DRUGS”, makes the Whole Family Suffer.” It made me cry.

Because, that is what happens.

I wished for My Son, to be sitting besides me. This would have given him the opportunity to understand. What he has not only done to himself. But, how it also involved all the people, that Love’s Him!

I thanked the people from the center, for helping me to understand that My Son, was very sick. Recovery is a long, long process.

I learned that day. That his “Drug of Choice was Heroin!”