September 18 2015

I AM HIS MOTHER Pg.1

crying momThere is a need in our country to focus on the future.

 Who, is the future? Our Dear Children!

When they are in harm’s way, Their Mother is right there to protect, them. We will do whatever necessary to make the Sun come up and shine for them. Mother’s are strong, and fearless, when they give birth to their children. I think, it is because of all the pain that is felt while giving birth. It is that pain, that gives Mother’s the stamina to ready themselves, for the responsibility they have to nurture, guide and love their Baby.

I invite all Mother’s to share in their experiences. With their children who have succumbed to the “DEMON’S “! We need to join forces and be able to speak our minds and be heard. “Yes, we have cried and the pain is like no other”. The simple truth is that our child, for whatever reason. Made a decision! From the beginning when they thought it would be Fun, make them Feel Good, or maybe it was Pear Pressure that drove them to, “Open the door and enter this Evil World“.

But, what Our children did not realize, is that the whole family, was walking through the door right behind him. My Son’s decision, took down not only himself, but our whole family. To, look in the eye’s of his Father, was another excruciating experience for me. I will never forget how he dropped to his knees, praying to our,Almighty G-d,

                                                                                     “Not My Son”!

“We were both on the floor holding each other. Crying in disbelief.”

My Son’s, Brother and Sister’s were confused. They were all living their own lives at this time. While I talked to each of them, on the phone, I remember long moments of silence and tears. My Son was not on his own. He was living in our home at this time. The house was a happy retreat, “Once Upon A Time”.! Now just a place where we lived. Every room turned into an area for, My Son to seek out, objects that he could easily take and pawn to get his next high. Possessions that I had collected or were gifts, started to disappear. Jewelry and lots of money were gone. He sold his x-box, videos and anything else that, he would have to. All to get a feeling that would never be, the same or fill the craving that was ravaging his body and soul. If that was not enough. His mischievous behavior was really out of control. My Son, was always borrowing my car. He had so many Mishaps. In that car, “I am sure the police new about him“. They continued to periodically pull him over for one reason or another. He had minor accidents. One time he got stuck with the car on a residential street, after driving right into a stop sign. I thank G-d, that he, “ Never Killed Someone”! I am sure they new him. I wished that, they would have come to my house to tell me he was in trouble. I know My Son, has a “ Loving Angel”, that watches over him. How else could he have done so much damage to all of us and still be with us. Was this a lesson for him, was this a lesson for his family?

“I am Screaming inside”, I am YOUR MOTHER! What gave you the Right to do this to yourself?  To do this to ME, who always was there for you. And always told you how, “Proud I was of all your accomplishments”. To do this to your FATHER. Who adores you, so proud of the Boy, now a Man.”

“My tears fall, like broken Glass“!

It is time to rise above the silence, No, longer should we be crouched and ashamed of the terrible news that our child is taking drugs. It is time to fight back…….

I have read post after post. We are in shock, when we realize that they dared to take drugs. This shock, slowly eats at us until, our inner self is destroyed. We have a common bond that our very soul, has been crushed. Afraid, that our child is never going to recover. What will our families and friends say? I never thought of this. I just wanted him to get help!

Coming to the realization that, My Son was “Sick”, and I could not make him feel better. “ I, this once strong woman. Who had control of my life, my home and I thought My Son,  was devastated!” Realizing that we are powerless, makes us feel useless. Like so many of you, I never imagined that the day would come. That I could not make. My Son better when he was hurting.

I felt so much pride, that he was a straight A student. Played Foot Ball. Sang and Danced. He was a Comedian, always joking around. In such a playful way. He loved to look good, always clean and dressed nice. “So Handsome”!

He calls me “Momma Love”!

And what of the Mother’s, who’s Child Died? Their pain and suffering is abundantly more than ours! They have completely lost the battle. They go through life with “Forever Questions”, that are never answered. I invite you to tell us the story of your child. As, no child that has Died, this way, should ever be forgotten. Or not Loved.

And, the Mother’s that cannot find their children, and do not know where they are. Maybe, with our words someone will  see this child. In hopes of finding, Him or Her.

And, the Mother’s who  are just so worn out from this terrible addiction of their child. Needing to vent to us, because we know your Pain!
Please come and tell your story.

Together we can help each other cope. Give each other support. Share in how, some of us were luck enough to get, our Son or Daughter into a recovery program.  Because, when they are in Recovery there is so much HOPE. There are so many recovery programs across our Great Land.

  They are the,  “Gifted Wonderful people that have the knowledge to Fix, Our Children”!