December 22 2015

Hello To All Mother’s Of Heroin Addicts pg. 4

love

Hello to all Mother’s of Heroin Addicts

Heroin will not Kill My Son!

I Am His Mother I will Be Strong

                  I began to feel hope again. I no longer was the enabler that he needed, for his addiction to Heroin.

I learned how to say a New Word,

“NO”!

I remember getting ready for work, I was putting on my make up. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a woman that had aged. I then stepped away and said to myself, “Are you finished killing yourself over this Heroin addiction that has afflicted your Son?!”

“ Do you want to die, or live to see your Son well enough to come to you and say

I Love You Mom?”

I got mad, not at My Son, I got Mad over the situation and that changed me. It brought me back to the living and prepared My Son. To see that his Mother, was concentrating on her life and not his. He needed for me to make him feel more independent in his thinking and see that I was not going to put up with this any longer. Of course inside I was the same person. This became a game of chance.

Going into a Rehabilitation Facility was My Son’s only Hope. He was there for about two weeks. I was able to visit. So, I decided to try and look my best. So, I dressed up. I wanted him to see that I was no longer crying. I wanted him to know that I was happy with the only choice that he had. I wanted to reassure him that…

“He was going to make it and have a life and a future”.

My faith allowed me to fight for My Son’s Life!

So, Dear Mother’s

I hope that my words have helped you in some way.

Try to be the strong woman that you were

before the “DEMON of Heroin” walked through your door!

Stand tall and fight for your Child’s Life, any way

that you know how. Live each day and take good care of

Yourself. Because no matter how old they are

they will always need Us! 

                    Love & Blessings                           

Ricky

roses

 

 

P.S. Here is the letter that I gave him that day!

My Dearest Son

There is an army behind you that is

standing tall and fighting with you.

We are your family

Your Brother, Sisters,

Grandmother & Grandfather

Aunts & Uncles

Cousins

Mother & Father

We all have a great faith that, YOU WILL  SUCCEED!

The love of G-D

 Your Family and the People

you are with, and

Your Own, “ Self “!

Because we all Love You!

We know that you have the “Strength” to Fight for your life

and regain the person that is within you, and we are all right

there fighting, standing behind you and fighting with you.

You Are My Indian Warrior, My Hero. My Son.

Love,

Mom

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December 21 2015

HELLO TO ALL MOTHER’S OF A HEROIN ADDICT PG.3

refuse

Hello TO ALL MOTHER’S  OF A HEROIN ADDICT

It has to do with what is happening chemically to their Brain. The addiction begins because every time they use. They are searching for that “Incredible Feeling,” but it never returns! The Heroin itself, chemically makes the brain constantly want more of the drug.

So their insatiable hunger for the Drug, brings them through the gates of hell. With everyone in their lives that loves them. Also, it makes them do what ever they have to do get the drug.

Heroin is a disease of the brain and it effects every part of their body.

So Mother’s the best that we could do and the only thing is to just,

                             Love them.

It is so disheartening. They turn into someone that you do not even know.

I learned, that I had to get tough through this journey. It effected my whole family. All the crying and feelings of loss for a child that was addicted and who had no care for anyone else. If I did not get mad and start to take some kind of control over my sadness.

G-d knows that my sorrow would have surely destroyed me.

I was not only his mother, I had three other children that were going through their own pain. Do not let the Demon into your heart. Because of your sorrow it will consume you. That is a very dark place to be. So stop and think about your love, for not only the addicted child but f0r other family members in your life. When they are watching you beat yourself up and feeling helpless. They to will be upset and this feeling will grow like a weed through out all the people you know. It will destroy anyone in it’s path!

Get Mad and turn your sorrow for what is happening to Your Child into Living.

Show that Child that you are no longer going to put up with their manipulation.

They have learned very well how to manipulate.

Yes they are addicted to Heroin. But there is someplace in them that recognizes when someone that they love, is not going to take that exploitation any longer.

When I started to concentrate more on the family and took a step back from My Son’s addiction. That is when there was a big turn around in his life.

I pray everyday for My Son. I pray for my family.

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December 20 2015

“Hello To All Mother’s Of Heroin Addicts” pg. 2

Family

 Hello To All Mothers Of Heroin Addicts

How do we survive when the people that are, Using Heroin are Our Children!

While My Son was in Rehab he had said to me, “Mom you can ask me anything you want and I will tell you the truth about how I started to use Heroin”!

So I asked him why, “He replied that the “Pills” he was using became to expensive.” He was using Oxycodone an opiate drug related to codeine. Use: pain relief, sedative. The Price was about $40.00 per pill! Depending on the milligram. One bag of Heroin costs about $6.00.

Finally the day arrived, My Son called his Father. We had not heard from him in a long time.

We stopped calling him. It was very hard for us to do this. But we felt that if he did not hear from us maybe he would be feeling some emotion that he had no resources left for his addiction.

 “When, there is no one that loves them there to help them. When they truly need help and they are Alone. When they are caught in a terrible situation and the fear of living the life that has consumed them is tearing them apart. You hope that they finally respond in some way of needing help!”

He was frantic on the phone.

“I need your help Dad, I want to go into Rehab now!”

My opinion from all that I have learned about Drug addiction is this…..

My Son made a very big “Mistake.“

Maybe his friends were doing drugs and he wanted to be apart of the group that he was with. They were always together from the day they were eight years old. Brothers! Each one of them leaned on the other. Each one of them went through rehab at different times but they are all, Recovering now and still they are together. Helping themselves to return to society and live good lives.

As his parent, we are very proud of his accomplishments going forward. He is living in a beautiful apartment sharing expenses with his friends. I had them all here for Thanksgiving. For me it was the greatest day. Seeing them sitting at my table once again. But so many years later now.

They always came to my house after school. They would all be playing football or baseball in the backyard. Eating whatever I had in the refrigerator. Watching TV or playing video games.

Thanksgiving they were no longer little children, but grown men that were so happy to have a home cooked meal and a kiss from me. I am so proud of all of them. Every night I pray for their well being.

My Husband and I have changed our focus. We are working on our future. As our Son is now on his own and working on himself. Seeing him now being very independent has given us a chance to free our minds of the turmoil that once was. And now begin a future for ourselves. Hoping one day to retire and enjoy waking up in the morning, not having to work for a company that expects more than you can give. All for a paycheck that is gone even before you get it.

This experience has given me a strength that I never new I had.

With every episode in My Son’s Addiction. I started to read and find out as much information as I could. Trying to understand what was going on with the addiction at that time.

Earlier in my writings I told you about a meeting that I was invited to when My Son first went into Rehab for the first time. In the next paragraph, I am writing my interpretation, from what I have learned, about someone who takes Heroin for the first time. This information is what has made me realize that this is an illness. A one time mistake that My Child made, that he has to deal with for the Rest Of His Life.

When they turn to Heroin, for the first time they get the most incredible feeling. Once they do this they are “Hooked”! There is no turning back.

There is no “Do Over”!

 

 

 

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December 19 2015

“Hello To All Mother’s Of Heroin Addicts” pg.1

hands and heart

Hello To All Mother’s Of Heroin Addicts

I have read many stories of Mother’s who have grieved so unbearably over their child’s addiction. I have been in their shoes. The pain in your soul is so excruciating. Your Heart Is Broken. Your beliefs are shattered. The once sunny days are now bleak. Your curtains are drawn and your world is so dark. You are left in shock. You find yourself in a web of thoughts trying to make sense of it. Sadly with all of the pain and torment, you are left with a child that no longer responds to anything, other than,

” what They Need and Want”!

The stare that is on their face is uncanny. With blood shot eyes and grey skin. I wanted to shake him back to the day that I was taking him to McDonalds for dinner after a football game. Where he was the star quarter back, in his High School. Straight “A” student with honors!

But that was so long ago. You are left helpless.

But Not Hopeless!

I went through blaming myself. Thinking that I had missed something in his up bringing. Always questioning myself as to.

” what did I do wrong.”

I made myself so sick that I could no longer hold down food. I could not sleep, walking the floors all night trying to figure out a way to save My Son from this danger. We cannot save them. But we can make a difference, we have to loose the control that we once had over them while they have this addiction. The addiction is now in control and it will be until they are in a rehabilitation facility. After they are rehabilitated they come out as a person, that sometimes you feel you do not know. No longer your child as you once new him. With there own mind set as to what they have learned to survive. Because they have used heroin they must walk a road that is so long.

For the rest of their lives, everyday.

They are fighting the demon.

 

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